A Different Session
by watchmexplode33
Summary: The kids' session wasn't the only one going on in the world at the time. What if another group of kids was able to have a successful session? This is the story of six different kids, of a different session. OC's abound.
1. Enter Name

**Hello readers. This is my first Homestuck story, and I would really appreciate feedback on whether or not I am doing a good job capturing the nature of the Homestuck universe.**

**Also, sometime in this chapter one of the characters reads a game magazine about SBURB that talk about the magazine editor playing it. I would just like to make it clear that the demo the editor is described as playing is NOT the real SBURB game, and more like a mini-demo that uses a virtual space instead of the real world.**

A young boy lies asleep in his bed. An alarm clock on his desk reads 6:30 a.m. Today, the 13th of April, is, well, it isn't actually a special day for this young fifteen year old, at least, not yet. What could this young man's name possibly be? A box appears, seemingly from nowhere, in the middle of the room to display this boy's name. Oh, looks like his name is BUTTWIPE DORKFA-

_SMASH_

In one quick movement the boy snatched a drumstick from his desk and flung it into the box, punching a hole through it. In an instant the box disappeared, letting the stick fall to the floor. The boy then pointed at a gold plaque mounted to his wall before pulling the pillow over his head and going back to sleep. Ok, looks like his name is MATTHEW FRAY, glad we could get that issue cleared up.

Matt: Wake up

With an annoyed groan, Matt threw his pillow onto the floor and sat up, brushing his blanket off of himself. A quick glance around his room would reveal a number of his interests. He was an aspiring NOVELIST, and a typewriter sat on his desk, waiting to crank out some stories that would certainly transcend epic in all possible ways.

He was also a pretty intense GAMER, and video game posters covered the walls of his room, while multiple game magazines littered the floor. Another interest of his was CARTOONS they showed when he was a kid. Honestly, shows nowadays just couldn't cut next to the shows he watched when he was a kid.

He also had an interest in MYSTERY STORIES and the PARANORMAL and SUPERNATURAL, a Problem Sleuth and Midnight Crew poster occupying a wall of his room, and a copy of the Grimoire for Summoning the Zoologically Dubious resting on his bookshelf. Matt always had trouble deciding between the Midnight Crew and Problem Sleuth, but usually decided on Problem Sleuth. He was always a sucker for the good guys.

Perhaps his most prominent hobby was his DRUMMING. He picked it up when he was ten, and ever since he'd been unable to put the drumsticks down, his experience ranging from drumset to high school drumline. A drumset sat nestled in the corner of his room, music set up in front of it, aching to be played. Matt picked up the drumsticks from the floor and desk and captchalogued them in his Array Fetch Modus. While some criticized the Array Modus for its simplicity, Matt was rather fond of it.

Matt: Screech like a baboon and take a shit on your drumset

What? Why the hell would he do that? Such an action would be blasphemous to drummers everywhere, and either way, he was getting tired of staring at all the stuff in his room. It's not like he was being introduced as a character in a story or anything. If he was going to be awake, he'd do what he normally did in the morning.

He started to head towards the bathroom across the hall from his room when his phone vibrated on his desk. He checked the device and raised an eyebrow, wondering why someone would be trying to get in touch with him on Pesterchum so early in the morning.

Matt: Answer chum

Well, it would be polite to tell his friend that he was busy, and that they'd have to get in touch with him later. Making his decision, Matt opened the Pesterchum app on his phone.

minervasHandmaid [MH] began pestering recklessRhythmic [RR] at 6:37

MH: Matt, are you up?

RR: Am now

RR: And might I say, I'm so glad you decided to bug me so early in the morning

MH: ah, well, it's no trouble whatsoever

RR: -_-

RR: I was being sarcastic

MH: as was I

MH: anyway, I just wanted to ask you about the game

MH: you know?

MH: the long awaited game of the year?

RR: Yes, I am quite knowledgeable about the game to which you are referring

RR: Unfortunately, it has yet to come in the mail, possibly due to the current ungodly hour of the morning

RR: Did you honestly expect it to have arrived yet? If so I will have to reevaluate all my previous thoughts about you

MH: Matt, I'm almost offended

MH: of course I didn't expect the game to have arrived yet

MH: I was just wondering when you wanted to start playing

MH: someone has to coordinate with the rest of our friends, you know

RR: I…hadn't actually thought about that

RR: Hold on, I'm gonna grab a quick shower

RR: We can discuss the matter when I get back

MH: alright

MH: I'll just have to keep myself occupied with mental pictures of you washing your nude form

MH: I'm already starting to swoon

RR: For God's sakes

RR: Just once I'd like a conversation with you to not include awkward sexual tension

RR: Is that too much to ask for?

MH: c'mon Matt, you can't blame a girl for knowing what she wants

MH: ;)

RR: Uh…

RR: I think I should go

RR: And take my shower

RR: Before things get even more awkward

RR: I'll be back in a bit

MH: oh don't worry, Matt

MH: it's just funny to watch you get all uncomfortable

MH: talk to you when you get back

recklessRhythmic [RR] ceased pestering minervasHandmaid [MH] at 6:40

Matt set his phone back down on his desk and ran a hand through his messy brown hair, trying tremendously hard to kill the blush in his cheeks. Girls were so stupidly confusing sometimes. Shrugging the thought off, he stood and left his room. The house was quiet; his Sis had apparently not woken up yet. Good, he'd prefer keeping contact with her to a minimum for a while. She had a habit of being grumpy in the morning. He stopped next to a window and looked out towards the horizon. The sight of the sun rising into the sky both helped him shake off the last feelings of tiredness, as well as gave him a strange sense of inspiration.

"_The next year, the next day, the next hour are lying ready for you, as perfect, as unspoiled, as if you had never wasted or misapplied a single moment in all your life. You can turn over a new leaf every hour if you choose."_

Matt believed Ralph Waldo Emerson said that; yes, he was fairly certain it was him. Turning on his heel, Matt walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. He had a feeling that it would be a long day, and that many great things were going to happen.

…

A young woman sat on a chair in her room. She wore a simple tee-shirt with an image of an owl, and a knee-length skirt; black hair ran down to her elbow. The same naming box from before appeared to display this girl's name, but she quickly gestured to a plaque resting on her desk. Guess her name is LESLIE ANDERS. Well, there's no fun in that, but oh well.

Leslie turned her swivel chair away from her desk, observing the rest of her room. Her interests included a fascination with ROMAN CULTURE, and she was even able to speak Latin fluently. She also enjoyed INDIVIDUALISM, stressing the importance of being your own person in most of her daily aspects.

She was also an ARTIST, and several paintings and drawings decorated the walls of her room. Her room was currently a mess, art supplies discarded carelessly on the floor. She made a mental note to clean up later, after she got in touch with her friends, that is. Speaking of her friends, she couldn't help but giggle a little bit as she reread Matt's response before going offline. It was surprisingly easy to get into his head and for some reason she enjoyed messing with him. She could be a little sadistic sometimes.

Leslie: Bark like a dog and vomit on your art set

Ok, seriously? That's it; we're done with the running gags. I mean it, they're over. Either way, Leslie's too busy to be bothered with random disgusting suggestions. Just because Matt left to take care of his own business didn't mean she didn't have other things to do. While he was gone she figured she'd get in touch with some of their other friends. Conveniently, one of them just went online right now.

minervasHandmaid [MH] began pestering shutterbugSlick [SS] at 8:42

MH: hello

SS: jeez, that was quick

SS: didn't think anyone would start bugging me so soon

MH: nice to talk to you, too

SS: oh hi

SS: so whats up

MH: I was wondering if you got your copy of the beta yet

MH: I already talked to Matt, and he hasn't gotten his

SS: why were you talking to him now

SS: you know what time it is at his house with the time difference right

MH: of course I do

MH: but I knew he'd get all angry if I talked to him so early, and I thought it'd be funny

SS: come on

SS: you know i dont appreciate people messin with my best bro like that

MH: don't worry, I made sure not to ruffle your 'bros' feathers too much

MH: I'm not that horrible of a person

SS: oh ok

SS: so no awkward sexual tension

MH: …

SS: leslie

SS: what did you say

MH: I may have made a comment about admiring his nude self while he took a shower

MH: there's just a possibility something like that was said

SS: ugh

SS: whats the matter with you

MH: oh relax

MH: I know how defensive you are about Matt

MH: just 'chill', as you bro types are known to do

SS: ok ok

SS: im calm

SS: but you gotta realize

SS: i know youre just dying to get the nasty on with my bud

SS: but the sexual stuff makes him uncomfortable as fuck

MH: …does it really?

SS: wait

SS: forget i said that

SS: what did you want again

MH: I was wondering if you had your copy of the beta yet

SS: yeah

SS: shit came in the mail yesterday

SS: how bout you

MH: I just got it from my mailbox before talking to Matt

MH: I have decided to organize everyone so we all know when we're going to start playing

SS: k well ive got my copy

SS: consider me on board with everything

SS: like this whole game is a ship

SS: and im waiting for everyone else to join me on this great adventure of a game

SS: thats how on board i am

MH: good, I'm glad to hear the ship is well boarded

MH: I suppose that leaves the three others to talk too

SS: well technically you only NEED to talk to 2

MH: true, but one of those two I'd rather not deal with

SS: you both still fighting or some shit

MH: you could say that

SS: you want me to talk to her

MH: is that a question or a statement?

SS: guess

MH: then I'll assume you'll be talking to her

MH: …thanks

SS: dont mention it

SS: ill get in touch with ya later when ive got details

MH: in that case, I'll bid you farewell for now

MH: vale

minervasHandmaid [MH] ceased pestering shutterbugSlick [SS] at 8:45

Leslie closed Pesterchum and turned away from her desktop again. None of her other friends were online at the moment, so she'd have to do something to occupy time until one of them got around to checking their computers.

Leslie: Bark like a dog and vomit on your art set

No. Hell no. Hell. Fucking. No. Didn't I say we were done with the gags? Ok, we're done now. No more gags from here on out. I mean it! Either way, Leslie decided that while she waited she could go grab her copy of the beta from downstairs. She stood from her chair and started from the door, stopping when her hand rested on the knob. Going downstairs would probably mean one thing for certain.

An encounter with father.

Leslie: Be Matt

Matt was now standing in the center of the room. He'd just finished getting dressed after his shower, and was wearing a pair of semi-skinny blue jeans and a tee-shirt with a picture of a pair of drumsticks on it. A check of his phone showed that Leslie had logged off, but SS was online. He figured he could go for a chat with his best friend, so he opened Pesterchum.

recklessRhythmic [RR] began pestering shutterbugSlick[SS] at 6:50

RR: Hey man, what's up?

SS: not much bro

SS: how go things with you

RR: Not bad

RR: Waiting for the mail

SS: oh yeah i figured as much

SS: leslie told me your beta hadnt come yet

RR: Figures

RR: I just thought I'd say hey before I went downstairs to make breakfast or something before Sis wakes up

SS: alright thats cool

SS: say hey to your fine sister for me

SS: wink wink nudge nudge

RR: Dude, I'm sure my sister finds your little crush on her flattering

RR: But frankly it's just fucking disgusting

RR: And more than a little creepy

SS: shut up

SS: just go make yourself some toast or some shit

RR: Well, since I have your royal highness's permission, I guess I will

RR: Talk to ya later

SS: peace bro

shutterbugSlick [SS] ceased pestering recklessRhythmic [RR] at 6:55

Matt captchalogued his phone and walked out of his room. He was halfway down the hall when he heard a noise downstairs. In a second his drumsticks were in his hands, his Strife Specibus having already been set to drumstickkind. Drumsticks seemed like rather unconventional weapons, but Matt was handy enough with them to put some serious hurt on any intruder. But he figured it wasn't an intruder waiting for him downstairs.

It was Sis.

He continued walking down the hallway, passing a framed picture of James Bond on the wall. Sis had a weird thing for spies, especially the British kind. Matt found spies cool too, but his sister's interest was more of an obsession. He found the various pictures and small figurines of the secret agents very annoying. Heading down the stairs and into the kitchen, Matt finally saw Sis. She was making herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast, and Matt tried to walk by her without getting her attention. He failed and bumped into her. Fuck, now there was only one way to settle this.

STRIFE!

Matt readied his drumsticks, and Sis raised both halves of her sandwich. The two moved in opposite circles in the kitchen, waiting for the other to make the first move.

Matt: Aggrieve

Matt lashed out with a drumstick, then the other. A quick series of blows rained around Sis, but a sky blue aura seemed to protect her from every strike. When Matt finished attacking, he noticed her holding the slices of bread defensively in front of herself. 'Damn', Matt thought to himself, 'her dreaded auto-PB&J.'

Matt: (Passive) Aggress

Matt decided he'd change tactics a little bit. He pretended to ignore Sis completely, and instead strolled over to the counter. He then proceeded to drum on the counter, slowly increasing his speed. After a second he made eye contact with Sis, and her complete annoyance was evident. She hated when he drummed, she thought it was too loud and annoying, so drumming made for a great strategy during strifes.

Sis: Aggrieve

Getting fed up, Sis lashed out with a slice of bread. The blow was too quick for Matt to dodge, and he wound up with a face full of grape jelly. Satisfied, Sis turned away from Matt and started to make a new sandwich. With a growl, Matt absconded from the room. Breakfast would have to wait.

He made his way into the downstairs bathroom and wiped his face clean. Once he was done he walked back into the kitchen. He got some bread and the toaster out and started to make toast, then sat down in the TV room while waiting for it to cook. Soon Sis joined him

"What time does the mail come?" Matt asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't know." Sis replied simply.

"Gee, thanks."

The two fell into silence until Matt's toast popped out of the toaster. Standing up, he left the TV room and went back to the kitchen. He put the toast on a plate and added some butter, then headed back to his room. He swore some of those creepy spy figures were watching him as he made his way up the stairs. Once he got back to his room he closed the door behind him and set his plate down on his desk. He reached over to his backpack and pulled his laptop out, setting that down on the desk too. Opening the laptop, Matt checked Pesterchum again. No one was online. Matt sighed and closed his computer again.

Matt: Check window

Matt stood and went to his window, looking outside. He didn't see anyone; people normally stayed in their houses. Something did catch his eye, though. The little flag thingy on his mailbox was up. The mail was here! The beta was here! Smiling with glee, Matt raced out of his room and down the stairs. He threw the door open and quickly ran to the mailbox. He grabbed the mail and quickly started rifling through the envelopes. Bill, bill, copy of Secret Agents Monthly, bill, there it was! Matt held the two green envelopes bearing the SBURB logo, undoubtedly the beta. He made his way back inside, trying not to bounce up and down with excitement. He tossed the rest of the mail on a chair in the entryway and went back to his room.

Matt opened his computer again. Leslie still wasn't online, but he could leave her a message so she could get back to him later.

recklessRhythmic [RR] began pestering minervasHandmaid [MH] at 7:33

RR: It came!

RR: I've got my copy of the beta!

RR: Ok, that is all

RR: Talk to you later I guess

recklessRhythmic [RR] ceased pestering minervasHandmaid [MH] at 7:34

Matt closed Pesterchum again. Now he'd just have to find something to occupy his time. The best course of action would be, of course, to install the beta, so he did that. Taking one of the disks from its envelope, Matt inserted it into his laptop. Now he had to wait for someone to come online, AND wait for the beta to finish installing. Great.

Matt: Play sick riff on your drums

Of course, drumming was always a great way to pass time! Matt sat down in front of his drums and equipped his drumsticks. Raising them above his head, Matt closed his eyes and let the music come to him in his head. He was ready to do this. He was ready to make this happen.

Matt: Be Leslie

Leslie readied herself to retrieve the beta from downstairs. She captchalogued her phone and a few art supplies into her Stack Modus, then opened the door of her room. The sound of the TV could be heard, which meant that her father was in the living room. Good, she'd left the beta on the kitchen table, so she shouldn't have much trouble retrieving it.

She moved quickly, youth rolling past the living room and into the kitchen. She captchalogued the beta, then turned to leave. Unfortunately, Father was waiting for her when she turned around. The two stared each other down before Father walked to the fridge, retrieved a can of soda, and returned to the living room. Leslie breathed the slightest sigh of relief. She and Father loved each other, but they rarely understood each other's interests. For example, Leslie couldn't comprehend Father's intense love for boxing.

Leslie figured the two could find something they had in common, and started to think about what they could bond over as she made her way to the stairs.

Leslie: Open Pesterchum on your phone

Leslie didn't have a smart-phone, dumbass. She had an old flip phone, so she was restricted to using Pesterchum on her computer. She'd made her way to the top of the stairs when she heard the door open and shut. She peered out the hall window and saw Father's car pull out of the driveway. He was probably running some important fatherly errand, as fathers are known to do.

Shrugging her shoulders, Leslie returned to her room. She retrieved the beta from her sylladex and set it on her desk, then turned on her computer so she could install it. She considered checking Pesterchum, but figured it could wait until later. Pushing the server copy of the disk into her computer, Leslie watched as the data was loaded and installed. While all of this was going on, she finally decided to check Pesterchum. It was then that she saw Matt's message.

recklessRhythmic [RR] began pestering minervasHandmaid [MH] at 7:33

RR: It came!

RR: I've got my copy of the beta!

RR: Ok, that is all

RR: Talk to you later I guess

recklessRhythmic [RR] ceased pestering minervasHandmaid [MH] at 7:34

minervasHandmaid [MH] began pestering recklessRhythmic [RR] at 7:45

MH: that's great

MH: I'm installing my copy right now

MH: Matt? are you there?

Leslie: Be Matt

What does that even mean? Matt had certainly never stopped being Matt. If he had, he wouldn't have been able to play that sick beat on his drums. Sure, Sis had yelled at him from downstairs to keep quiet, but that riff he just played was so sick it almost started an epidemic of some sort. That was how sick it was.

Once he stopped, he felt his phone vibrating. He retrieved it from his sylladex and checked Pesterchum. Leslie had finally responded to him.

RR: Yeah I'm here

RR: My copy is installing right now

MH: oh, ok

MH: should we wait for everyone else before we all start playing?

RR: Actually, I don't think that'll be necessary

RR: I read something in one of my game magazines about SBURB having some sort of join-as-you-go feature

RR: Give me a second

Matt: Consult gaming magazines

Matt stood and picked up one of the game magazines that were scattered across the floor. GameBro? No, definitely the wrong magazine. Matt honestly didn't even know why he still had a subscription to GameBro, it was absolutely horrid. Here we go; the latest issue of GameInformer. This was much more reliable video game news.

Matt: Read article

_SBURB is a new sandbox-style game, similar in nature to THE SIMS. However, the developers of SBURB have promised that the official release of the beta will add more features than any game before it. We haven't even been able to play the beta, only playing a very short demo._

_ One of the most interesting features we discovered while playing was a join-anytime feature. This allowed multiple players to join a pre-existing game as the game went on. This was a great way to add more friends to a session, and has served as a great view of SBURB's multiplayer possibilities._

_ It's too soon to give SBURB an official rating, but everyone at GameInformer has high hopes for this game, even though we've only seen, as the developers say, "a fraction of the gameplay possibilities that will be available to the players."_

RR: Yeah, it says right here that players can join a game while the game is going on

RR: So we can start whenever and people can join in when they're ready

MH: oh

MH: that's a nice feature

MH: alright then, it looks like you installed the client disk, so I'll connect to you as the server

RR: Ok, let's get this thing going then

MH: Matt?

RR: Yeah?

MH: you were drumming earlier, weren't you?

MH: you were drumming while I was trying to get in touch with you

RR: Is there some sort of point hidden in that very obvious statement?

MH: let's just start playing

Leslie and Matt: Start playing

The game had now started. Leslie's computer displayed a view of Matt's room, while Matt's laptop only showed that the server had connected to him. Leslie started fiddling with the controls, accidentally managing to pick up Matt's bookshelf.

RR: The fuck?

RR: My bookshelf is floating in the air

MH: oh, yes

MH: I selected the bookshelf and picked it up

RR: How? This is just a game

MH: it looks like the developers took "virtual reality" to a new level somehow

MH: I guess you could just call it…reality

RR: Ok, this doesn't exactly make a lot of sense to me

RR: But I'm gonna go with it anyway

RR: When do I get to start moving shit around in your room?

MH: I don't think you can

RR: What?

RR: Why?

MH: since you're the client player and I'm the server player, I guess I'm in charge of manipulating your environment

RR: So basically I can't do shit

MH: that's how it looks

RR: That's hardly fair! I'm calling fucking shenanigans

MH: relax

MH: when you connect to someone as their server player, you'll be able to do whatever you want to their room

RR: Well

RR: I guess that's ok then

RR: So what do we do now?

MH: I'm still working out the controls, sit tight

After a second the bookshelf tilted to its side. Books flopped out and onto the ground. Then the bookcase flew out the window, shattering the glass and landing in the front yard.

RR: Can you see my face?

MH: …yes

RR: I am not amused

RR: I had to put that bookshelf together myself

MH: hold on, I'll get it back

Leslie moved the cursor outside and tried to click the bookshelf. The attempt proved futile, as the bookshelf refused to be picked up

MH: on second thought, I can't pick up the bookshelf

RR: Why not?

MH: because it is 'out of range of the client player'

MH: it seems I can only interact with objects in your immediate vicinity

RR: Alright

RR: Before you start trashing more stuff in my room, let me grab a few things

Matt quickly captchalogued several of his game magazines for future reference. Unfortunately, this also took up all seven of his captchalogue cards.

Matt: Combine game magazines

Good idea! Matt combined all the magazines into one card, creating a stack of game magazines. Next, he captchalogued his copy of the Grimoire. That book was rare, and he wouldn't risk losing it. Oh, if only he could captchalogue his drumset, but it was a little too big.

"MATT!"

Matt jumped as Sis yelled his name from downstairs. "Yeah Sis?" he asked.

"What's with all the noise?"

"Nothing, it's nothing."

"Whatever, I'm going out to see my boyfriend for a while. Try not to destroy the house while I'm gone." Then he heard the door slam closed. Matt hoped that Sis wouldn't notice the bookshelf in the front yard, but she probably wouldn't even care either way.

Next, Matt captchalogued a few of his favorite posters; a Dead Space poster, a poster of Starkiller from Star Wars: the Force Unleashed and a Samurai Jack poster. With that done, Matt combined all the posters into one card, creating a stack of posters.

Matt: Get back to the game

RR: Ok, feel free to mess with my room some more

MH: actually, I found some things in this "phernalia registry" that I believe may be important to gameplay

RR: Alright

RR: Do you, like, set 'em up or something?

MH: it appears so

MH: but first I suggest moving somewhere with lots of space

MH: do you have a balcony of some sort?

RR: Yeah, hold on

RR: I'll head out there right now

MH: ok

Leslie leaned back slightly in her chair and watched Matt make his way to his balcony. Once he was there she selected the balcony and extended it outwards.

RR: Holy shit!

RR: What the hell did you just do?

MH: I extended your balcony

MH: some of these devices look rather big, so I figured you'd need the space

RR: Ok, well then get deploying I guess

MH: well, since I have your permission…

Leslie then deployed the Totem Lathe, Alchemiter, a pre-punched card, and Cruxtruder. It was then that she noticed that while extending the balcony costs units of Build Grist, deploying those four items was free. She decided to tell Matt about this, but it turned out she missed a minor detail when deploying the Cruxtruder.

RR: You put this thing in front of the door?

MH: …there's a door there?

RR: Yes there's a door here

RR: And now I'm locked out of my house

MH: hold on a second

MH: I can fix this

Leslie then built a ladder from the balcony to the ground.

MH: by the way, I've discovered a sort of currency system in the game

MH: turns out building most things costs units of something called "Build Grist"

MH: but all the stuff I made on the balcony was free

RR: Cool

RR: Hold on, I'm gonna check some of this stuff out before going back downstairs

Matt captchalogued the pre-punched card, which bore a picture of an apple, then turned his attention to the Cruxtruder. He tried giving the wheel on the side a turn, but it seemed to be stuck. Something also seemed to be trying to burst out from the top when he turned the wheel. Deciding to check it later, he turned towards the Totem Lathe. A slot on the side seemed to fit captchalogue cards, so he took the pre-punched card from his Sylladex and placed it in the slot.

Absolutely nothing happened.

Similar inspection of the Alchemiter revealed more nothing. What kind of game gives you a bunch of things that do absolutely nothing?

RR: All these things are useless

MH: hmm

MH: I just think we aren't sure how to use them

MH: maybe further inspection of the devices will reveal some useful information?

RR: Well

RR: It seemed like there was something inside the big square thing with the tube on top

MH: the Cruxtruder

RR: Whatever

RR: But the wheel is jammed

MH: maybe if you brace something against the wheel you can unjam it

RR: Good idea

RR: Sis has some life sized spy action figure in her room

RR: I can probably use one of its limbs

MH: ignoring the disturbing fact that your sister owns a life sized spy action figure

MH: that idea does seem like it will work

So Matt made his way down the ladder into his backyard and went into his house through the side door. He quickly headed to Sis's room and found the large doll.

RR: Ok

RR: Can you carry this thing?

RR: It's too big for me to captchalogue

MH: sure

The doll lifted into the air and Matt started back outside, the doll floating behind him. After heading out the side door again, Matt noticed Sis's car pull up into the driveway. Sis got out of the car and her eyes immediately locked onto Matt and the floating doll. Matt stood stock still for a second then turned tail and ran towards the ladder. Sis rolled her eyes and made her way into the house. Whatever her weirdo brother was doing, she wanted no part of it.

RR: Fuck that was close

RR: But now we can get the Crux-thingy open

MH: Cruxtruder

MH: it's not a complicated vernacular

RR: Moving on

RR: Just bring the doll over her and drop it

The doll started to move towards Matt, but once it was over the Cruxtruder it stopped and dropped out of the air. It hit the top of the Cruxtruder with a thud and the Cruxtruder started to light up. After a few seconds the top of the Cruxtruder flew off and an odd looking blue ball flew out. Matt swore and dove out of the way of the lid

RR: What

RR: The

RR: Hell

RR: Just happened?

MH: I think we accidentally did what we were supposed to do

RR: You mean create this little floating ball thing?

MH: yes

MH: hold on, I'm going to try and find a walkthrough of this game to see if we can't get a little help

RR: Wait, this thing's like

RR: Trying to talk to me

RR: But I can't understand a word it's saying

Ignoring the ball for now, Matt gave the wheel on the Cruxtruder a spin again. This time, a blue cylinder popped out. Matt captchalogued the cylinder, then noticed a countdown on the Cruxtruder. It read four minutes and thirteen seconds, and was getting lower by the second. Apprehension suddenly filled Matt's stomach, and he swatted at the blue ball that kept getting close to him. Finally, he just picked up the spy doll and swung it at the thing.

There was a flash of blue and the blue ball seemed to transform. Now it had the face of the spy doll, and two arms as well. Matt stared with apparent confusion, but the little blue spy ball remained emotionless, and now looked pretty fucking creepy. Down in his backyard, his dog, a little white schnauzer, barked at something up in the sky.

Matt: Captchalogue telescope on balcony

Oh yeah, Matt had almost forgotten that there was a telescope on his balcony. He quickly captchalogued it and used it to gaze up into the sky. He was met with a most unsettling sight. A meteor raced through the sky, seemingly heading straight for his house.

RR: Uh

RR: I think I discovered what the countdown on the Cruxtruder means

MH: oh, well

MH: I've managed to find a very nice, if somewhat… unsettling, walkthrough

RR: Would you forget the fucking walkthrough?

RR: There's a goddamn meteor heading straight for my house!

**Alright, that does it for the first chapter. I hope if you've made it this far you found the story enjoyable.**

**As I said at the start of the chapter, I really appreciate being told what I've done right or wrong, so don't be afraid to leave a review**


	2. Welcome to the Medium

**I have mixed feelings about this chapter. I feel like it gets a bit stale, and I think I rushed some character intros a little bit. **

**Feedback would be much appreciated, especially so I can know whether or not the chapter does stale out at any points.**

MH: I expected a meteor would be headed for you

RR: You what now?

MH: it's all in this walkthrough I found

MH: maybe I should send it to you

RR: No time

RR: Give me the summary of my situation and help me the fuck out

MH: ok, long story short

MH: the game is bringing about the end of the world

RR: Is there some way we can survive this?

MH: yes

MH: first, did you pick up the cruxite dowel?

RR: Please, plain English for now

MH: the blue cylinder that the cruxtruder made

RR: Yeah, I've got that

MH: put it in the totem lathe

RR: Remember what I just said about plain English?

MH: the thing that had a slot for the pre-punched card

RR: Oh, ok

MH: it also looks like you've tier 1 prototyped your kernelsprite

MH: although I don't think I would've used the secret agent doll

RR: Kernelsprite?

MH: the blue sphere

MH: I'll explain later

MH: how much time do you have left?

RR: 2 minutes and 45 seconds

MH: did you put the dowel in the lathe yet?

RR: One second

Matt slid down the ladder and made his way to his dog. Scooping the animal up in his arms, Matt turned and climbed the ladder again, then set the dog down on the balcony. He ran to the Totem Lathe and slapped the pre-punched card into the slot. The Lathe carved the Cruxite Dowel into a totem, which Matt promptly captchalogued.

RR: 40 seconds left

RR: Now what?

MH: put the totem on the alchemiter's pedestal

Matt did as he was told and placed the totem on the Alchemiter. The Alchemiter's arm scanned the totem, and then there was a flash. When Matt opened his eyes, he saw that a blue tree had bloomed from the Alchemiter. A single apple hung from one of its branches. After a moment the apple fell, and Matt dove for it, catching it moments before it hit the ground.

MH: sweet catch

RR: What next?

MH: well… I hope you're in the mood for a snack

RR: The meteor's very close now, so if we could cut the bullshit I'd appreciate it

MH: take a bite of the apple

Matt quickly reread the message. The idea sounded stupid, but he didn't have much choice. He looked up at the meteor and decided that if this was the end, he'd go out with style. He leaned against the Alchemiter and took a bite out of the cruxite apple, staring at the meteor until it was too bright to keep his eyes open. The meteor finally struck, engulfing the neighborhood in flames.

_Years in the future, but not many…_

A Disgraced Deserter, dressed in grey rags that ended in a hood shrouding his face, trekked through the desert landscape, leaving a steady trail of footprints behind him. His target, a white object in the near distance, was the only thing breaking the monotony of sand dune after sand dune. After a little while he finally reached the object. His white eyes narrowed as he brushed sand off his find, revealing a green spherical emblem.

'Interesting.' He thought to himself, rubbing his chin.

…

Matt slowly opened his eyes. He'd felt the heat of the meteor fade away, replaced by a cool breeze. He looked over the edge of the balcony and saw nothing but clouds. His house now appeared to be floating on some sort of island in the air, clouds obscuring what lied below.

_KID_

He turned around, ignoring the voice he was sure he'd imagined, just in time to see the Kernel split from the Sprite into two separate pieces, then each go in an opposite direction, one traveling up and the other down. The Sprite then underwent a further transformation, now looking more like a ghost-secret agent.

RR: Ok

RR: Where am I?

…

Elsewhere in the house, Sis calmly did her laundry, either unaware or apathetic to the events that had just transpired. Outside the room, several sinister looking pairs of eyes watched Sis' every move, waiting for the opportune moment to strike.

…

MH: somewhere called the medium

MH: although what that exactly means, I'm not sure of

RR: Ok, so now what?

MH: that's for you to decide

RR: Great

Matt looked up and noticed his dog, Monty, barking insistently at the Sprite. The Sprite remained motionless, and Monty continued to bark and growl. Eventually, Monty just jumped at the Sprite. There was a flash and Matt barely caught a glimpse of the Sprite before it disappeared through a wall and into his house.

_KID, QUIT STANDING AROUND AND GAWKING AT THE SCENERY AND HEAD INSIDE ALREADY._

What? Matt was sure he almost barely heard something that time. It was like an imperceptible voice on the edge of his subconscious. It was either that, or he was just going fucking crazy. His phone vibrated again.

shutterbugSlick [SS] began pestering recklessRhythmic [RR]

SS: bro

SS: theres a meteor headed for my house!

RR: Shit, are you serious?

SS: fucking yes im serious

RR: Ok, I know how to get you out of there

RR: I'll get in touch with you in a bit

SS: alright make it quick

recklessRhythmic [RR] ceased pestering shutterbugSlick [SS]

Shit, Matt would have to hurry. He raced to the ladder only to discover that it now ended with a drop into nothingness. That was a problem.

RR: A little help?

RR: I need this ladder to get me to the side door

MH: alright, give me a second

The ladder extended sideways, reaching the side door of Matt's house. Matt climbed down the ladder and started the perilous walk to the door. His heart stopped for a second when he slipped and started to fall. His hand lashed out and he was barely able to grab the side of the ladder before he continued to fall into oblivion.

…

A lump formed in Leslie's stomach when Matt slipped. Moving quickly, she tried picking him up with the cursor so she could move him to safety; it failed, and only elicited a spastic reaction from Matt, who flailed around, trying to shake off the cursor.

…

Matt swung back and forth when he felt something try to grab him. Eventually he lost his grip and started to plummet downward, only to land on a…dog bed? Yes, Matt had landed on a bright blue dog bed, which was being held up by his Sprite. Matt looked at the Sprite curiously; it had apparently transformed again. It now possessed the head and paws of Monty, as well as a tail, while keeping the suit and hat of the secret agent doll.

"Monty?" Matt asked, not quite believing what he was seeing.

"Arf!" was Monty's only response as he moved the bed back towards the ladder.

Matt stepped onto the ladder again and opened the side door. "Um, thanks, I guess." Matt said. He reached out and scratched Monty behind the ear.

"You're welcome!" Monty responded, wagging his tail.

"Wait, you can talk? What's going on?"

"I'd love to tell you, but don't you think you should help your friend first?"

Matt's eyes widened. "Oh shit, you're right!" He turned and quickly made his way into the house, making a mental note to ask Monty how he knew about SS in the first place.

The inside of the house was in a state of disrepair. Things had been toppled over, and there was oil everywhere, but no culprit was in sight. Matt made his way up the stairs, keeping an eye out for any intruders, or Sis; he'd like to make sure she was alright. When he arrived in his room he saw that the door was completely stained with oil. Matt swallowed the lump in his throat and opened the door.

The inside of his room was just as messy as the rest of his house. Oil had smeared the walls, ruining his posters. The bed was in just as bad a condition. His desk was marred by less oil, leaving his computer usable, but his server copy of SBURB was gone. Frustrated, Matt turned around to find the most horrifying sight he'd ever seen. His drumset was filthy! Oil dripped from the cymbals and pooled on the heads of the drums. Matt fell to his knees, bowing his head in a moment of silence.

_GET BACK ON YOUR FEET, KID. YOU'VE GOTTA STAY ALERT._

His name was Matt; that was something the voice would have to accept. What would he make music on now that his drumset was ruined? Truly it was a sad day. Matt didn't hear his bedroom door open, nor did he notice the small figure enter his room behind him.

_FINE, MATT, GET UP AND TURN AROUND._

He slowly rose to his feet, turning around to see what was so important holy shit what the hell was that? The little monstrous figure, dressed in a suit and wearing a fancy hat, flexed its claws and grinned at Matt menacingly. A health bar above the creature read Shale Imp. Oil seemed to drip from the Imp's skin, and it didn't take long for Matt to connect the dots. His drumsticks were in his hands in a second, ready to avenge his drumset.

STRIFE!

Matt swung out with a stick, striking the Imp on the side of the head. The Imp staggered backwards, then ducked low and lashed out with a claw. Matt pushed the claw aside with an auto-paradiddle and struck the Imp again with his drumsticks, this time with an uppercut. The Imp fell onto its back, its health bar almost depleted. In a last ditch effort, the Imp struck out with its claw again. Matt sidestepped the claw and lunged at the Imp, stabbing it. The Imp exploded into units of Grist, which Matt instantly grabbed.

Matt: Level Up

The astounding victory sent Matt scaling up his echeladder, landing him at the Boy Skylark rank. His Gel Viscosity increased by fifteen, and his Cache Limit was bumped up by forty. Now he had 35 units of Build Grist and 20 units of Shale. In addition, he earned some Boondollars, but there wasn't really any use for those things, was their?

_NOT BAD, MATT_

Matt turned back to his desk. His server copy was gone, and with it, his chances of saving his friend. There might still be hope though. He quickly pulled his phone out of his sylladex and opened Pesterchum.

recklessRhythmic [RR] began pestering shutterbugSlick [SS]

RR: Ok, we have a problem

RR: My server copy of the game was stolen

SS: are you shitting me

SS: theres a meteor heading right for my house

RR: Chill man, we can still make this work

SS: how

RR: You just need someone else to be your server player

RR: And I'll have Leslie send them the walkthrough she found

SS: ok

SS: thats a little reassuring

SS: please hurry though

RR: I've got your back bro

RR: You can depend on me

RR: Who do you think can be your server player?

SS: well CCs online right now

RR: Then CC it is

RR: You get in touch with her

SS: ok

shutterbugSlick [SS] ceased pestering recklessRhythmic [RR]

RR: Leslie, you still there?

MH: yes

RR: Good

RR: SS needs our help

MH: what's wrong?

RR: A meteor's heading for his house

RR: He needs someone to be his server player, and my server copy's gone

RR: Can you send CC a copy of the walkthrough?

MH: …err

MH: I'd rather not

RR: What? Why?

MH: can't I just send you the walkthrough then you send it to her?

RR: I've got shit to deal with here

RR: My house is being infiltrated by Imps and Sis is nowhere to be seen

RR: So the responsibility is yours

MH: ugh alright

MH: but I want it on the record that I'm objecting to this

RR: Your objection has been noted

_Hours in the past, but not many…_

A young man stood in his bedroom. He was wearing a white long sleeve shirt with a picture of a spade on it and blue jeans. His short blonde hair was hidden under a black hat. A plaque mounted above the boy's closet bore his name: BLAKE STRAFFORD.

As just mentioned, the boy's name was Blake. He was a big fan of STAND-UP COMEDY, hoping to one day take his place among other comedic legend like Bob Saget or Larry the Cable Guy. He also played the ELECTRIC GUITAR, although he was much more lax about his musical interests than some of his other friends. In fact, he was usually pretty lax about most things.

He was a big fan of COMICS, his two favorites being the hilariously horrible SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF and the more than a little badass MIDNIGHT CREW. A Midnight Crew poster hung on his closet door, and a separate one of just Spades Slick hung on a different wall. He was no stranger to VIDEO GAMES, a gaming console set up on his desk, alongside a small TV. He was also somewhat fond of REPTILES, and an aquarium on one side of his room housed his pet chameleon, Rex.

His passion, though, was PHOTOGRAPHY. He was the head of the photo club at his school, and he had turned an old closet down the hall from his room into a makeshift darkroom. Multiple Polaroids, both developed and undeveloped, were scattered on his bed, and his camera rested on his desk. What would he do?

Blake: Snort like a pig and- NO MORE FUCKING GAGS!

Blake: Pester CC

Of course, Blake promised Leslie that he'd talk to CC for her. Maybe then he'd be able to learn more details about why they were fighting in the first place. Blake tried to get his laptop from his sylladex, but the unpredictable nature of the Miracle Modus he'd been sent for his birthday advised against the decision. Maybe he could just, sort of reach over into the Modus and…got it! He ignored the fact that he'd just violated the abstract rules of Fetch Modi and sat down at his ridiculously large desk and opened his laptop.

shutterbugSlick [SS] began pestering cheeryCherry [CC]

SS: yo

CC: hi blake! :)

SS: so i wanted to know if youve got your copy of the beta yet

SS: were gonna start playing soon

CC: yeah, i think it came in the mail

CC: ill have to double check though

SS: sweet

SS: ill touch base with leslie then

SS: see what everyone else's status is

CC: k

SS: speakin of you and leslie

SS: whats your guys deal anyway

CC: its a long story

SS: sure

SS: girls and their "long stories"

SS: did it involve stairs

CC: what?

SS: im just asking

SS: did one of you warn the other about stairs

SS: and then the other ignored the warning

SS: which ended in that person falling down the aforementioned stairs

CC: is this from that Cool Bro and Hella Jeremy you read all the time?

SS: sweet bro and hella jeff

SS: and i might be making a subtle reference

CC: lol

CC: soooooo funny :P

SS: you know it

CC: ok mister funny guy

CC: im gonna go make sure I actually have the game

SS: alright let me know

cheeryCherry [CC] ceased pestering shutterbugSlick [SS]

His task competed, Blake decided he'd let Leslie know that CC was up to speed.

shutterbugSlick [SS] began pestering minervasHandmaid [MH]

SS: ok CCs all good for playing

SS: les you there?

MH: yes, sorry

MH: Matt and I are already playing, and my attention was otherwise occupied

SS: oh is the game any good

SS: i heard it got thrashed in gamebro

MH: Blake, GameBro is a joke

MH: why would you even read that slop?

SS: for the lulz

MH: -_- moving on

MH: yes, I would say the game is quite…intriguing

SS: cool so when do the rest of us start

MH: pretty much whenever you want

MH: Matt can connect to anyone with his server copy when he gets the chance

SS: oh sweet im gonna grab my copy right now

MH: good luck

shutterbugSlick [SS] ceased pestering minervasHandmaid [MH]

Blake closed his laptop and left his room. He'd left the beta on the counter in his houses entry hall. He slid down the handrail on the stairs and arrived on the ground floor of his house. His Mom was some big executive for a fancy company, so they were pretty much loaded. It was easy to get lost in the big house he lived in, but after a few years he'd managed to get the hang of navigating it.

He turned a corner and found himself face to face with a massive bodybuilder figure. His Mom was obsessed with the things, though he could never understand why. To Blake, the effigies of men in tights with bulging muscles was just way to disturbing.

Slowly, Blake advanced into the kitchen, ignoring the stares of the musclemen. When he reached the counter, he was shocked to find that the beta was gone. He whirled around, only to see his Mom, with both discs in her hand.

"Blake," Mom began, "I said no games until you mow the lawn."

"Mom, our front yard is an acre long!"

"Well then you'd better get mowing, young man. Unless, of course, you'd rather I held onto your little game."

Obviously beaten, Blake grumbled under his breath and trudged out to the front yard. He closed the door behind him and walked to the side gate of the house to get the mower. As much as he hated mowing his incredibly large lawn, there was an upside to it; the riding mower.

Blake: Ride the mower

Blake happily sat in the mower's chair and started the thing up. The next few minutes were occupied by him riding back and forth across his front yard, screaming like an imbecile. It was only when he stopped did he notice someone trying to get in touch with him. Whipping his phone out of his sylladex, he opened Pesterchum.

astroLass [AL] began pestering shutterbugSlick [SS]

AL: blake, are you ok?

SS: um yeah

SS: why wouldnt i be

AL: i just had a dream. you were mowing your lawn and there was a meteor heading straight for your house!

SS: whoa thats kinda weird

SS: im mowing my lawn right now

AL: yeah, and you know that my dreams have a weird habit of coming true

AL: so please just keep an eye out

AL: i'd hate for this to be another dream i got right :(

SS: dont worry ill be fine

AL: i hope so

SS: since ive got you here

SS: did leslie ask you about the beta yet

AL: no

AL: but my brother and i have our copy

SS: cool guess you should let les know then

AL: alright, i guess I'll do that now

SS: ok i gotta finish with the lawn

SS: so ill talk to ya later

AL: bye blake :)

astroLass [AL] ceased pestering shutterbugSlick [SS]

Blake put his phone away and went back to his mowing. After a minute he noticed that it was starting to get hot outside. Yes, it was April, but this kind of heat felt unnatural. Blake decided he'd take a look at the sky, but when he did a lump formed in his throat. There was definitely a meteor. And it was headed straight down at him. Pulling out his phone again, Blake started to pester Matt; he would know what to do.

shutterbugSlick [SS] began pestering recklessRhythmic [RR]

SS: bro

SS: theres a meteor headed for my house!

RR: Shit, are you serious?

SS: fucking yes im serious

RR: Ok, I know how to get you out of there

RR: I'll get in touch with you in a bit

SS: alright make it quick

recklessRhythmic [RR] ceased pestering shutterbugSlick [SS]

Blake quickly rode the mower back into the side yard and then rushed back inside. He had to do…something, even if he didn't know what. He decided to go to his second best source of advice: Leslie

shutterbugSlick [SS] began pestering minervasHandmaid [MH]

SS: les i need some help

MH: what's up?

SS: i have a meteor barreling straight at my house right now

MH: really?

SS: why does everyone say really

SS: im not lying

MH: don't worry, I believe you

SS: thank you

SS: matt said he could help me

SS: but what do i do in the meantime

MH: install the beta

SS: why

MH: long story short, the world is ending, but the game can save everyone

MH: I guess Matt decided to be your server player. he'll help you escape through a complicated process that I'll let him explain to you

SS: um ok

SS: i guess ill just install the beta then

SS: but first ive gotta get it from mom

MH: well, good luck with that

MH: if you'll excuse me, I think Matt needs my help right now

SS: sure sure go ahead

minervasHandmaid [MH] ceased pestering shutterbugSlick [SS]

In a flash Blake's phone was back in his sylladex. Now he had to figure out a way to get his copy of SBURB back from Mom. 'This should be interesting', he thought as he left his room again. He peeked into the TV room, only to find it empty. The kitchen showed similar results, so Mom could only be in her office. The door to the office was slightly open, so Blake peeked in. Mom was sitting at her desk, back to the door, working on something on her computer. Her purse, her Fetch Modus of choice, was sitting on her desk.

"Blake, did you finish the lawn?"

Blake's heart stopped. He swore the woman had eyes in the back of her head or something. "Um, yes Mom."

"Oh, alright then, you can have your game."

Blake pushed the door open and ran into the room. In a flash he grabbed the copy of the beta and stormed out. He rushed back into his room and pulled out his laptop, setting it and the game on his desk. By now he was sweating profusely, both from nervousness and from how hot it was getting. Once he turned on his computer he slid the beta into the slot and watched as it started to install. After few seconds someone messaged him.

recklessRhythmic [RR] began pestering shutterbugSlick [SS]

RR: Ok, we have a problem

RR: My server copy of the game was stolen

SS: are you shitting me

SS: theres a meteor heading right for my house

RR: Chill man, we can still make this work

SS: how

RR: You just need someone else to be your server player

RR: And I'll have Leslie send them the walkthrough she found

SS: ok

SS: thats a little reassuring

SS: please hurry though

RR: I've got your back bro

RR: You can depend on me

RR: Who do you think can be your server player?

SS: well CCs online right now

RR: Then CC it is

RR: You get in touch with her

SS: ok

shutterbugSlick [SS] ceased pestering recklessRhythmic [RR]

shutterbugSlick [SS] began pestering cheeryCherry [CC]

SS: do you have your copy of the beta with you right now

CC: yeah why?

SS: leslies gonna send you some walkthrough then youve gotta save my life

CC: aha sure

CC: is this some clever joke?

SS: im being as serious as ive ever been

SS: ive got a goddamn meteor heading for me

SS: shit has officially hit the fan

SS: and the fan is fucking industrial sized

CC: whoa ok

CC: you said Leslies gonna send me a walkthrough?

SS: affirmative

CC: ugh ok

CC: but why her?

SS: i dont know probably because shes the one with the walkthrough

CC: fine

CC: but only cause youre my friend

SS: you have no idea how appreciated you are right now

CC: haha thanks :)

Blake: Be CC

You are now CC, but I think she prefers the name CHERRY CONWAY; at least, the plaque that hung over her door would suggest that. She had long red hair that was tied up in a ponytail behind her. She was wearing a white tee shirt with a Squiddle on it and blue skinny jeans.

Cherry looked around her room. She had a number of interests. She loved to READ, and books of all kinds and genres were neatly stacked in a bookshelf. She also liked MOVIES, preferably romantic comedies. She was generally a positive person, and her room was painted an assortment of bright colors. She also held a fondness for GARDENING, and a number of garden tools were stored in a small trunk under her desk.

Cherry: Captchalogue gardening tools

She figured it would be good to hold on to them for safe keeping. In a flash the tools were tucked away into her Puzzle Modus. She turned back to her computer to continue chatting with Blake.

CC: so when can i expect miss snooty to send me the walkthrough?

SS: hell if i know

SS: just wait until she gets around to it i guess

CC: gee youre a big help -_-

SS: do you have a meteor headed for you

SS: no you dont

SS: so you will have to excuse my lack of a good solution

CC: ok point taken

Cherry's computer chimed, and the chumhandle 'minervasHandmaid' lit up.

CC: looks like shes online now

SS: ok let me know when your all ready to get the game on

SS: im installing the client thing right now

minervasHandmaid [MH] began pestering cheeryCherry [CC]

MH: hello Cherry

CC: leslie

MH: let's not be unpleasant about this

MH: I understand Blake requires some help

MH: so you'll need this

minervasHandmaid [MH] sent cheeryCherry [CC] the file

CC: youre just a fantastic savior arent you?

MH: Cherry, let's at least try to be civil from now on

MH: after not too long, we're going to be among the last of the human race left

CC: dont tell me what to do!

MH: well if I don't you're not going to get much done on your own

CC: hey buzz off

CC: you gave me the walkthrough like you had to

CC: so why are you still here?

MH: fair point

MH: would you prefer that I leave?

CC: kinda yeah

MH: then I'll go

MH: so long, Cherry

minervasHandmaid [MH] ceased pestering cheeryCherry [CC]

That girl was so insufferable! Cherry didn't know why she hadn't blocked Leslie. It wasn't like they ever even talked since the incident between the two. Well, it wasn't important now either way. She had the walkthrough, and hopefully from now on she wouldn't really have to deal with Leslie, at least for a while.

Cherry: Be Matt

Matt stood in front of his house. When he had been moved to the medium, a lot of the surrounding property was left behind. His backyard was completely gone and all that was left of the front yard beyond the driveway was about ten feet of grass before the abrupt drop. There was also a very small island with a tree floating right alongside his house.

'Well', he thought, 'there goes exploring.'

He turned and went back inside. Sis was still missing, but the house was far from empty; Imps had started making themselves comfortable, getting their oily substance everywhere. Matt quickly struck down a few Imps, grabbing the Grist that was dropped as a result. The remaining Imps fled in terror, and Matt decided he'd deal with them later.

On his way back to the balcony he paused next to another secret agent figure. This one was smaller than the one he'd programmed the Sprite with, being closer to his size.

_MATT, GRAB THAT GUYS SUIT_

What? The idea of stripping the doll was unappealing on its own, but the fabric of the suit also looked very uncomfortable.

_DON'T ARGUE, KID. IT'S A GREAT LOOKING SUIT_

Finally resigning himself to his unexplainable urge, Matt captchalogued the suit and the doll. He could probably find some sort of use for it later.

He made his way out to the balcony, where a new machine had recently been placed, resembling a piano.

RR: Uh Leslie

RR: What's this thing?

MH: a punch designix

RR: Ok, here you're saying that like I ought to know what it is

MH: I could explain it to you

MH: or I could do this

minervasHandmaid [MH] sent recklessRhythmic [RR] the file

MH: just scroll down to the part about the punch designix

Matt did just that, reading about what exactly this Punch Designix was and what it did. When he was finished reading a grin spread across his face. This would be fun.

Matt: Start alchemizing things

First he decided that he could use a new outfit fitting his new adventure. He quickly combined his drumstick tee shirt with the secret agent doll's suit, creating the Drumstick Suit. The grey suit fit like a glove, and bore Matt's drumstick logo in the upper right corner. It also included a pair of grey slacks and a pair of black dress shoes.

Matt gave his new outfit a once over and nodded in approval. Next, he decided to combine his shoes with his Dead Space poster. The result was a pair of Anti-Grav Boots. These were visually identical to the RIG boots in the Dead Space series, with the exception of being all black. Matt tested the boots out, firing them up and floating into the air. He flew back and forth for a little while, getting the hang of the boots, and then landed on his deck again.

MH: nice outfit

RR: I know, huh?

RR: I feel like a badass

MH: well you look pretty sexy

RR: … I, uh, knew that

MH: Matt, are you forgetting that I can see you?

MH: your blush is very prominent

_PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, KID_

RR: Shit

RR: Look at something else, would ya?

RR: See if you can find Sis

MH: I haven't seen her

MH: but it looks like there're more and more imps appearing throughout your house

MH: you might want to see if you can make a new weapon

RR: Hmm, good idea

Matt: Combine drumsticks and Samurai Jack poster

Matt attempted just that, but the result required types of Grist he hadn't encountered yet. An attempt to alchemize the sticks with the Grimoire ended with the same result. Matt sighed and decided he'd have to wait until after he had more Grist to make a new weapon.

MH: I found your server copy

RR: Where?

MH: an imp has it. hallway outside your room

RR: Alright, thanks

_GET GOING MATT, TIME'S WASTING_

Matt quickly made his way inside to apprehend the thief. Once he had gone through the side door he swung out at an Imp in his way, instantly vanquishing it. The other three in the room suffered a similar fate. Matt marveled at his increased strength after leveling up, grabbed the Grist scattered on the floor, and continued on his way. Once the Imp with the beta was in sight, Matt lobbed the secret agent doll at it.

The Imp barely managed to dodge the projectile, causing the window behind it to get shattered. Seeing an opportunity to escape, the Imp leaped out the window. Unfortunately, the window led down to a straight drop. Matt swore in frustration, but a walkway extended right underneath the Imp, stopping it mid-fall.

RR: Did you do that?

MH: someone has to have your back

RR: Thanks

_QUIT STANDING AROUND, OUT THE WINDOW YOU GO_

Matt leapt out the window, using his Anti-Grav boots to break his fall. The Imp backed up to the edge of the walkway, trembling in fear as Matt lifted a stick. He was about to finish the Imp when a large hand gripped the side of the walkway. A large, frightening creature, with a health bar that read Crude Ogre, tried pulling itself onto the walkway, but the thin strip of land snapped under the Ogre's weight.

Matt quickly activated his Anti-Grav boots, watching as the Ogre and the Imp, as well as his server copy of the game, fell through the clouds and out of view. Matt flew back through the broken window and landed with a soft thump.

_UNBELIEVABLE, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, KID?_

Ok, this voice was really starting to get annoying. What was with the stupid voice anyway? Who was it? What did it want?

_YEARS IN THE FUTURE, BUT NOT MANY…_

The object slid to the side with ease, exposing the tunnel below. The Disgraced Deserter was more than happy to climb down the ladder, away from the sun's hot rays. The inside of the tunnel was hardly any cooler than outside, but it was still an improvement.

The inside of the structure was dark, the two sources of light being the tunnel opening and a large computer monitor. The Deserter approached the monitor with a curious gaze. The only active screen displayed a boy holding an apple in one hand. Slowly, the kid's eyes opened up. The Deserter slid his fingers onto the keyboard.

_KID_

…

Matt made his way back to the balcony, watching as more and more Imps made their way into the house. A pit formed in his stomach as Crude Ogres started to climb up onto the front lawn and make their way towards the house as well.

"Arf!"

Matt turned around and found Monty waiting for him. Acting on habit, Matt scratched the Sprite behind the ear. "Monty, do you know where Sis is?"

"Oh yes, I think she got kidnapped a little while ago."

"What? And you didn't think to tell me?"

"Oh geez Matt, relax." Matt was taken aback by the dog's calm demeanor. "Sis'll be fine. What you need to worry about is your quest."

"Quest? Oh, yeah, you're supposed to be like my guide, aren't you? So what do I do next?"

"Well that's partly for you to figure out on your own. What's a good adventure if you already know everything that's gonna happen?"

"…Fair point. So what _can_ you tell me?"

"I can tell you to look up."

Matt did as he was told. In the sky a hundred or so feet above his house was a blue sphere shape that emitted a soft glow.

"That sphere thing in the sky?"

"It's called a gate. There are seven of them, and you need to find your way through them all to reach your goal: Skaia."

"Skaia?"

"Yes Matt, Skaia. The legend of Skaia is one of creative potential that stretches as far as one's imagination. Like a blank slate, one could make Skaia whatever they want. So it's not surprising that with such a powerful force in existence, there must be an army of light to defend it. And where there is an army of light…"

"…There will be an army of darkness?"

"Now you're catching on! These two armies have dueled for control of Skaia for eternity. They have carried this fight on in an eternal stalemate, until you and your friends showed up."

"What do me and my friends have to do with it?"

"You remember what happened before I joined with the Sprite? It split! This was the Kernel portion 'hatching.' Each of the halves of the Kernel went to either the dark or light kingdom. There they came to rest in a Spire, where there are four others just like it."

"So there are five Spires in total for both kingdoms?"

"Exactly! Each of the five Spires is situated over the throne of Light or Darkness. Once these Spires start to be settled by parts of a Kernel, then the game really starts. The war starts to move in a new direction, light against dark and good against evil. This war, however, will always reach a specific conclusion: the army of light will fail."

"What? If good loses, then what's the point of trying in the first place?"

"That is a riddle you must solve for yourself, the Ultimate Riddle. But keep in mind this one thing: I only said that the _army _of light would lose. And as coincidence would have it, the army of darkness has also captured Sis. So now you know what you must do: you must advance through the seven gates and reach Skaia. Of course, your adventure won't strictly be those events. I'm sure you will find a multitude of other quests to complete, each with their own rewards."

"But once I reach Skaia what do I do?"

"Oh I'm afraid that also falls under the category of what you must figure out on your own. For now, you must simply focus on reaching the gate."

Matt looked up at the gate again. "How do I get up there exactly? I mean, I don't know if my Anti-Grav boots can get me that high…"

"It's simple: to reach the gate, you build!"

"Ok, I think I get what I need to do. Build the house, reach the gate, right?"

"For now yes."

"Ok, I can do that. Thanks Monty, you've always been a good dog."

"You're welcome, Matt."

Just then, a cool wind swept through the air. Matt and Monty both looked over the edge of the balcony. The clouds cleared out of the way, exposing the landscape of wherever Matt was. As far as he could see, there was little besides mountains. The sun hung low in the sky, casting an orange glow over the land. Windmills dotted the landscape, and Matt could see the outlines of villages. For a reason he couldn't explain, Matt knew the name of this place, but Monty spoke it anyway.

"Welcome to the Land of Gusts and Windmills."

**A heads up, I won't be updating for a little while. I fractured my arm, so I won't really be able to update any of my stories.**


	3. Entrances and Alchemizations

**Disclaimer: Homestuck and its associated characters and concepts belong to Andrew Hussie. I am merely borrowing the man's genius for the sake of my own story idea.**

Blake: Enter

Blake sprinted up the stairs for the third time and opened the door to his roof. Making his way to the Totem Lathe, he grabbed a Cruxite Dowel from his Sylladex and slapped it into the Lathe, followed by the pre-punched card. He had abandoned his hat somewhere in his house, and sweat was beading on his forehead as the meteor barreled ever closer. Blake captchalogued the totem once it had been carved, then pulled out his phone.

SS: ok ive got this totem thing

SS: now what

CC: um this walkthrough says you put it on the alchemiter thingy

CC: i think it's that thing with the pedestal i put over there?

SS: yeah your right

SS: shit its gettin hot

CC: how much time is left?

SS: i got no idea

SS: that crux-thingy is downstairs still

SS: but im gonna just keep workin here

Blake placed the totem on the Alchemiter's pedestal. The Alchemiter scanned the totem, and then created a patch of gray cruxite grass.

SS: the fuck am i supposed to do with this

CC: well this walkthrough says their client person got an apple

CC: and they just sort of took a bite of it

CC: maybe eat the grass?

SS: what

SS: no fuck that

SS: ive got a better idea

Blake walked over to the side of his roof and slowly shimmied down the storm drain, landing in his backyard. He opened the shed where the tools for the lawn were kept and captchalogued a weed whacker.

SS: stairs please

Cherry extended a staircase from the ground up to Blake's roof. When Blake had reached the top, heat was already emanating from the ground, and the cruxite grass looked ready to catch fire. Blake quickly pulled out the weed whacker and revved it up. He'd barely cut through half of the purple grass before the bright flash of light temporarily blinded him.

Blake: Be Leslie

Leslie sat at her computer, watching as Matt attacked a few more Imps that had made their way onto his roof. If his skills in combat were any indication, Matt was adapting to the game rather well. Each swing of his sticks threw more and more oil onto the walls of the balcony, creating a demented Rorschach painting, and a steadily growing pile of grist was, well, piling up. Once that wave of Imps had been dealt with, Matt put away his sticks andpulled off his oil-stained suit jacket, tossing it onto the floor unceremoniously.

MH: have a second?

RR: Sure, shoot

MH: aside from your obvious combat experiences and what information we've collected from your sprite, have you noticed anything else that might help in beating this game?

RR: Well, I'm on some whole new planet

RR: Pretty sure the place is called The Land of Gusts and Windmills

RR: Catchy, huh?

MH: indeed

MH: and while it is interesting that the game brought you to a whole new planet

MH: have you learned anything substantial about the game itself?

RR: You see all these Imps, right?

RR: Does it look like I have time for research?

MH: well no

MH: I suppose that task will fall onto my shoulders for now

MH: you continue to bear the mantle of dashingly handsome ruffian

RR: Err…

RR: Does that make you the underappreciated, attractive sidekick or something?

MH: oh Matt, you flatter me

RR: Yeah yeah, whatever

RR: Shit, there's no stopping these Imps

RR: I think I'm just gonna have to head down to my front lawn to deal with this infestation

MH: I see a couple ogres down there

MH: try to be careful

RR: Yes dear

Matt: Deal with this infestation

It would be great to see Matt engage in a huge fight against a large number of Imps and Ogres. We could probably even find some great music to go with it. Unfortunately, we have to move the story along from Leslie's point of view.

Leslie watched as Matt prepared for the next wave of attackers. She looked over their last conversation and a small, wry grin worked its way onto her face. After a long year of trying, Matt was finally responding to her flirtations. Ok, yeah, maybe she didn't make conversation uncomfortable JUST so she could watch him squirm; she was allowed to want to know his actual feelings about her. Her train of thought was interrupted when Pesterchum alerted her to another person contacting her.

avianChivalry [AC] began pestering minervasHandmaid [MH]

AC: Hello Leslie.

AC: Tell me, have you started your session yet?

MH: Matt's in the medium, if that's what you mean. why do you ask?

AC: My sister has been squawking about somedream where a meteor strikes your house.

AC: And now she has taken flight into the forest, leaving me the job of warning you.

MH: I've mentioned that you two should stop living in the woods and start interacting with the rest of the world

AC: Honestly, there is never a moment where I do not have to pick up her slack.

MH: back to the meteor

AC: Oh, yes.

AC: Well she had another of her crazy dreams.

AC: She and that Prospit place she always dreams of. Honestly, I prefer my own dreams.

AC: But I digress. She dreamt that she saw you, standing in front of your house, with a meteor near about to strike.

MH: any other important details?

AC: Nothing you wouldn't already expect from an impending meteor strike. Red skies, trees catching fire spontaneously.

AC: Oh wait, she also said you were holding a kitchen knife, and your hands were covered with blood.

MH: interesting. I suppose I know what I might allocate to my strife specibus

AC: Interesting indeed.

AC: Might I say, you're being a lot more calm about this then I had thought you would.

MH: well I've been thinking

MH: Blake hadn't even installed the game, but a meteor was already headed to his house

MH: so I've been wondering if there isn't a connection between starting the game and the meteors

MH: or if the connection isn't specifically that the game summons the meteors, but rather provides a warning system for the player

AC: A truly interesting theory.

AC: But to be honest, I could not care less. I merely contacted you to give you fair warning about your impending demise, and now since that particular piece of business is taken care of, I have many other, more important, matters to attend too.

AC: Best of luck Leslie, but I am afraid I do have to fly.

avianChivalry [AC] ceased pestering minervasHandmaid [MH]

Ok, Leslie thought, maybe Matt was right about that guy. But this wasn't the time for thinking about her opinions of her friends. Now was the time to find a server player to get her in the game. Matt and Cherry were automatically out, since one was already someone else's server player and the other lost their server copy. That left Blake andthe two forest-dwelling twins.

Leslie: Pester Blake

minervasHandmaid [MH] began pestering shutterbugSlick [SS]

MH: Blake, please tell me you've made it into the medium alright

SS: hey les

SS: shit yeah im alright

SS: im on like some whole new world

SS: shit looks so motherfucking chill

MH: wait, would this world consist of a mountainous landscape dotted with windmills?

SS: uh negatory

SS: from what im seeing its like im in some giant bubble

SS: under the ocean

MH: really? Matt got transported to a very different kind of planet

MH: one which seems to be based upon the element of wind

SS: maybe the game does that on purpose

SS: like itd be to easy for all of us to be together on one planet so the games all like

SS: bitches youll each get a planet and youll all damn well like it

SS: you wanna see each other discover space travel

MH: that actually seems very likely

MH: though the planets might serve a bigger purpose than separating players

MH: it's also probably intended for us to meet up, but after we've leveled significantly on our own planets.

MH: but we can discuss this later

MH: do you have your client disk on you? and are you in a position to install and play it?

SS: yeah

SS: why you need to get started

MH: I was recently informed a meteor would be headed for my house

MH: so I thought it'd be a good idea for me to start playing

SS: well alright let me get this shit set the hell up

Leslie heard her front door open, then close seconds after. This meant Father was home, and she again thought of ways to grow closer to her guardian.

MH: go ahead and install the server copy and connect to me

MH: I need to go talk to Father. I'll be right back

Leslie slid the client copy of SBURB into her computer then turned and headed for the door. She was halfway down the stairs when she saw Father, dirty jeans and t-shirt and all, sitting on the couch. He had taken off his hard hat and steel toe boots, setting them neatly on the floor. He looked thoroughly exhausted.

"Hello Father" Leslie said, standing next to the couch with her hands behind her back. Father only looked her way and offered a slight nod and small smile. Typical, Leslie thought, Father may as well have not had a face for all the emotion he usually showed. Still, she was determined to try to strengthen their relationship, especially with the end of the world nearly upon them.

She was about to ask him about work when a sharp knock sounded from outside the door. In a flash Father was up from the couch and looking through the peephole before pulling the door open. On the doorstep stood a wiry man in a clean pressed suit, his jet black hair slicked back with gel. His face looked no over thirty, but his eyes appeared much older. His whole presence gave Leslie an uneasy feeling; there was something shifty about this man.

"Sal" Father said simply.

"Joel" the man replied, "Mind if I come in?"

Father nodded, but there was a few seconds of pause before he actually moved away from the door. Sal strolled inside and observed the inside of the house with an unreadable eye. He finally settled his gaze on Leslie.

"You must be Joel here's daughter. He's mentioned his little artist quite a few times."

Leslie nodded silently. Father had mentioned her to colleagues? Though she doubted this Sal was actually a colleague of Father's. Sal took a few steps towards the couch, and then decided to stay standing before turning to face Father again.

"I'm gonna be straight with ya here, Joel. You're late on your payments, and my boss doesn't like it when people are late with their payments."

Leslie noticed the color drain from Father's face slightly, but he still managed to keep himself expressionless. "Don't worry; I have your boss's money." He turned to Leslie. "On the kitchen table is an envelope. Could you go grab it for me while I talk with Sal?"

Leslie nodded then turned and quickly absconded from the room. What was Father doing with this suspicious character? She'd have to ask him later. Once she was in the kitchen, she picked the envelope up from the kitchen table and captchalogued it. She was about to go back into the main room of the house when a thought occurred to her.

Leslie: Allocate kitchen knife to Strife Specibus

That was a good idea. She opened a drawer and picked out a medium sized kitchen knife. She didn't trust Sal to not try something, so she set her Kind Abstratus to knifekind and tucked the knife into her Strife Deck.

She went back into the other room and handed the envelope to Father, who then handed it to Sal. Leslie eyed Sal suspiciously as he opened the envelope and inspected its contents. He closed the envelope back up and then looked at Father disappointingly.

"There's still about two hundred dollars missing."

Father paused, and then spoke slowly, carefully choosing his words. "Look, I've had to take some… pay cuts… at work. Just tell your boss that I'll have the money once I can."

Sal shook his head before reaching into his suit jacket. He pulled out a pistol and pointed it at Father casually. "Joel, you've given us that 'pay cut' story before. My boss is fed up. He gave me specific instructions to bring you in to see him if you couldn't make the full payment this time. And when he said 'bring you in', he meant dead or alive."

Leslie: Intervene

Before she knew what she was doing, Leslie equipped her knife and slashed at Sal's gun hand. Sal shouted in pain as the gun clattered to the floor and red welled out of the vertical cut on his hand. Leslie quickly captchalogued the pistol and then turned to abscond up the stairs. Father called after her before following her up the stairs.

Once Leslie got to her room, the walls jutted outward and a Totem Lathe, Cruxtruder and pre-punched card appeared. Leslie noted that the card containedsome sort of amulet before she captchalogued it. Pesterchum chimed, and Blake's name flashed on the computer screen.

SS: who was that fucker with the pistol

SS: i need you up here so i can place this shit

SS: oh ok there you are

MH: no time

MH: where's the alchemiter?

SS: front yard

SS: figured id save the grist and not make your room bigger

Leslie slid the pre-punched card into the Totem Lathe just as her dresser was dropped on top of the Cruxtruder. She grabbed the dowel that was launched out and placed it in the Lathe, then turned to the Kernelsprite.

Leslie: Prototype Kernelsprite with art supplies

Leslie tried to retrieve her art kit from her sylladex, but it was trapped under her phone, and then the pistol. Lacking a better alternative, she retrieved the pistol and flung the weapon into the Kernelsprite. She turned around to grab the cruxite dowel when she noticed her hands were still dripping with some of Sal's blood. She resolved to deal with the issue later and captchalogued the dowel. Leslie turned to leave her room again when Father burst through the door.

"What the hell is going on?" He demanded, shaking with furry and confusion. "Do you realize what that little stunt you pulled downstairs will mean for us?"

"Father, please", Leslie began, "There are more important things going on. I can assure you that harm probably won't come from my actions." Father didn't look any less furious, but Leslie only had a finite amount of time to enter the session, so he'd have to wait.

Matt: Ascend to the highest point of the house

Matt began to make his way up to the top of his roof and watched Imps follow after him. He threw one of his drumsticks at the first Imp, landing the weapon in the creature's chest. He rushed forward, pulled the stick free, and kicked the Imp back down the roof, taking its fellow Imps with it. Matt followed the trail of oil and collected the Grist just before a massive hand gripped the side of the balcony. With a mighty pull, the Ogre hefted its girth onto the balcony.

"Fuck."

MATT, I AIN'T NO MILITARY TACTICIAN, BUT YOU SEEM OUTCLASSED. YOU SHOULD MAKE A HASTY RETREAT.

Now the voice made sense. Slowly, Matt backed up towards the stairs that led higher up on the roof. The Ogre made a sort of grunting noise and started forwards.

RUN!

Matt quickened his pace just before a massive fist could crush him. He stumbled as another fist struck at his heels. He ran until he reached another edge of his roof. Below him, Imps raised their claws and slashed at the air like hungry children. The ground quaked and Matt knew the Ogre was close behind him. Another Ogre made its way across the front lawn, and Matt had a crazy idea that, with the right timing, just might work.

KID, IF YOU'RE THINKIN WHAT I THINK YOU'RE THINKIN, YOU BETTER JUMP QUICK.

Matt: Descend

Heeding the voice's advice, Matt took a few steps back and then launched himself off of the roof. He flipped his drumsticks into a reverse grip and tried to aim for the Ogre's forehead. If he was lucky, this would work.

The Ogre caught Matt mid-fall effortlessly. Well, shit.

The Ogre threw Matt back towards the roof, where the other Ogre was waiting to catch him. Matt found himself palmed like a baseball yet again and was slammed down onto his roof. He saw his health vial quickly drain. This wasn't good. His eyelids fluttered and he vaguely thought that needed help.

_ZAAAP_

"Arf!"

Wait, what?

Matt slowly opened his eyes and saw Monty hovering over him. The dog-sprite licked his master's face, and Matt's health vial recharged. Reenergized, Matt sprang to his feet and readied his drumsticks.

The Ogre that had almost slain him was sitting a few feet away, rubbing a large scorch mark on its head. Seizing the opportunity, Matt jumped and buried one of his sticks in the colossal thing's forehead. Matt struck again before the Ogre could retaliate, stabbing one of its eyes and pulling the other stick free to swipe across the creature's face. The Ogre exploded into copious amounts of Grist, and several Imps watching absconded in fear.

Matt swiftly collected the Grist, 26 units of Tar, 40 units of Mercury and 33 units of Shale, and breathed a sigh of relief. Then he noticed that his white dress shirt was thoroughly stained with oil. Great, now he'd have to find a new outfit, and there was still a shit-ton of Imps and Ogres storming his house. Matt returned to the balcony and looked through his sylladex. Now that he thought about it, it was probably a good time to alchemize a new weapon. He still lacked the Grist necessary for one of his previous weapon attempts, but maybe a different combination would yield success.

Matt: Combine drumsticks and Anti-Grav boots

The result drained all of Matt's Mercury and most of his Tar, but now he wielded a pair of Anti-Grav , it looked like they could trap a target in a gravity-free field, leaving them open for attack. It didn't look like they multiplied damage in any way, but they would still come in handy. The sticks looked the same as before, except that they were now cloaked in a field that gave them a distorted look.

Matt: Alchemize new outfit

Sadly, Matt lacked the Grist necessary to make a new outfit. He instead opted to revert back to his plain drumstick t-shirt and jeans. He was about to captchalogue the oily dress shirt and pants, but instead decided to simply toss them aside.

MATT, PICK YOUR SUIT BACK UP.

No way. That thing was stained with oil that's been God knows where.

YOU DON'T JUST THROW OUT A SHARP LOOKING SUIT, YOU IGNORANT PUNK. GO AND PICK IT UP.

Matt abjured the hell out of that particular command. No way was he going to don an oil-stained secret agent suit. The thought of donning a plain secret agent suit for no reason still mystified him.

THAT SUIT IS FINELY TAILORED AND STYLISH, KID. I STRONGLY DEMAND YOU PICK IT UP AND WEAR IT.

Abjuration. Total and complete abjuration. Matt felt his phone vibrate but that wasn't important. This voice needed to know that he would never, in a million years, wear disgusting oily clothing. It would not be a thing that happened.

_Years in the future…_

The Disgraced Deserter rubbed his face.

YOU'RE A FRUSTRATING ONE, KID. IF I COULD, I'D DEAL YOU A SENSELESS DRUBBING TO KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO YOUR HEAD.

The kid on the screen still refused. The Deserter almost pounded a fist against the console, but managed to cool himself down. If the kid didn't want to be well-dressed, then that was his problem. He could try his best, but in the end the Deserter couldn't force this kid to do anything.

OK, FINE. YOU DON'T WANNA WEAR THE SUIT? GO AHEAD AND NOT WEar it.

In his typing, the Deserter accidentally hit the caps lock key. There was a clunk sound as a compartment to his left flipped open. Its contents were spilled onto the floor: several canned goods, a length of rope, and a large grey book.

The Deserter inspected the labels of all the canned goods, stopping when he saw a can labeled "beef."

DD: Open canned beef

The mere idea almost made his mouth water, but first the Deserter would need to make use of a tool. He placed a hand at his side and felt something he'd almost forgotten: the short sword strapped to his hip. In a flash the weapon was drawn from its sheath. The handle was barely covered by a worn fabric, but the blade shone with a polished glint. The Deserter looked down at the can of meat; he would be eating well tonight.

_Years in the past, but not enough to make a big deal out of…_

Matt slowly calmed down. The voice had rescinded, finally leaving him alone with his thoughts. His respite didn't last long, though, since his phone vibrated. He opened Pesterchum to see who it was.

shutterbugSlick [SS] began pestering recklessRhythmic [RR]

SS: sup bro

SS: got a second

SS: I need to get the mad chats on

RR: I'm here, bud

SS: ok

SS: have you been hearin a voice or something

SS: or been having strange thoughts

SS: like since you started the game

RR: As a matter of fact, I have

RR: I thought I was just going insane

SS: nah bro im hearin it to

SS: then again maybe were just going insane together

SS: a couple of bros just ridin the crazy train

SS: ALL ABOOOOOAAAAARD!

RR: Yeah, but has your voice tried to make you do some stupid stuff?

SS: uh not really

SS: its mostly just been these angry thoughts in the back of my head

SS: i up and asked leslie about since shes in the game to but she didn't say she heard anything

RR: Leslie's in the game?

RR: Are you her server player?

SS: yup

SS: got my super hero on savin her from that meteor

RR: So does that mean…

RR: …you can see, like, everything she's doing right now?

SS: wait is my best bro havin some dirty thoughts

SS: feelin a little steamy on your windy planet

SS: gettin your x rated on

SS: you catchin my drift pally boy

RR: Yes, and that's a fucking disgusting drift you've got going there

RR: Like, I need some air freshener to clear up this majorly gross drift you just layuehgdceh

SS: …da fuq

Matt's metaphor was interrupted as a fist struck the back of his head. His phone bounced across the roof before falling into the rain gutter. Matt turned to face his assailant, but was met with only empty air. He turned again just in time for a pair of invisible claws to slash across the front of his chest. He staggered backwards as his opponent slowly phased into view.

The Shale Imp wiggled its bloody claws in glee at its prey's weakened state. Matt noted that the Imp's features were distinctly more… reptilian. On top of that, he noticed that one of the Imp's eyes was trained on him, while the other searched the rest of the roof for possible threats. Matt remembered Blake's pet chameleon, Rex. The Imp wasted no further time in lunging at its opponent, but Matt was able to bat the creature's claws away. The Imp took a step backward before fading into invisibility.

STRIFE!

Matt whipped his head in one direction and the other, searching for the Imp. He tried to listen for the sound of footsteps, but only heard silence. Even the voice that shouted at the edge of his perception was silent. Suddenly there was the soft tapping of feet against the roof, and Matt ducked just in time to dodge a slash aimed for his head. He held a stick in the direction the strike had come from, and there was a _whoosh _sound as the space a foot in front of him was drained of its gravity.

An orb of condensed space remained after the blast faded, and after a few seconds of waiting the Imp within revealed itself. Matt didn't spare a moment as he lurched forward, thrusting one stick into the Imp's head and the other into its chest. With the Imp defeated, the leftover Grist remained trapped in the gravity field. Matt collected his spoils, and the gravity field dissipated right after.

Author: Introduce last two characters

Hey, you can't give me commands! I'm in charge of the story here. If I want to keep characters shrouded in mystery for an extended period of time, then that's just what I'll do.

Matt: Be the other guy

That's more like it; let's keep the story moving with pre-introduced characters. Blake raised an eyebrow at the last bit of text Matt had sent. What just happened? He asked what was going on, but Matt had apparently gone dark. A few seconds later, and his status changed to 'idle chum'. Blake captchalogued his computer and looked out at his new surroundings.

Blake's house had been transported to the bottom of an ocean, but remained concealed within a bubble that separated him from the water. The water was a clear blue, showing the bare seafloor, and Blake could see other bubbles float by in the distance. Occasionally, the water's color would change to a yellow tint or light purple tint.

These observations made the name of Blake's planet pretty obvious, but the game decided to tell it to him anyway: The Land of Colors and Bubbles. Blake thought that the name was pretty simplistic, and that whoever had gone about naming this planet hadn't put much thought into it, but he didn't really care. In his opinion, this place was fucking awesome no matter what they named it.

Blake: Take picture of underwater landscape

Pssh, Blake had already taken three pictures of his new planet. Still, a fourth couldn't hurt. Blake retrieved his digital camera from his Sylladex and quickly snapped a photo of one of the distant bubbles. He was awed at the way the different colors reflected off of the bubbles. Oh yes, this one was a definite keeper.

"What happened to Matt?"

Blake didn't even notice that he wasn't alone any more. He turned and looked up at his sprite. Rex looked back down at him, flicked his tongue out, and then looked back out towards the ocean.

"His text ended with some weird gibberish and then he went offline. I hope everything's cool with him."

"You know, you could always ask his server player to check on him."

"That's… actually a really good fucking idea. How'd you think of that?"

"Chameleon's live longer then you'd think. Well, dwarf chameleons do anyway." The lizard flicked his tongue out again, and then faded into invisibility. Blake didn't remember Rex's camouflage ability being that good before the game.

Blake: Pester Leslie

Blake pulled his laptop back out and checked Pesterchum. Matt was still idle, but luckily enough, Leslie was online.

shutterbugSlick [SS] began pestering minervasHandmaid [MH]

SS: les

SS: could you do your best server player a favor

SS: its real important

MH: regretfully, my hands are somewhat full

MH: what's this favor? I might be able to help

SS: matts gone off the grid and im kinda worried

SS: seein as how you're his server player i was hopin you could up and check on him

MH: that is a little bit worrying. give me a moment

After about 30 seconds, Blake decided to get up and stretch. He left his computer where it was and took a quick three sixty turn. He thought he saw something, but dismissed it. He didn't notice the Chalk Imp reveal itself behind him. The Imp was about to strike at Blake when Rex appeared and attacked the Imp with his tongue. Blake turned around again when he heard the commotion and decided hey, why not get a little combat experience?

STRIFE!

Rex whipped the Imp a last time in the head, depleting its health vial to half, then floated backwards and disappeared. Blake stepped towards the creature, filling the empty space, and pulled out his electric guitar. He held the instrument like an axe and took a few more steps toward his opponent. Finally, the Imp lunged for Blake with one of its claws. Blake leaned back and let the claw pass in front of him harmlessly, then swung his guitar in an uppercut. The Imp's smile turned to a frown seconds before it was hit.

_CLANG!_

The Imp's health bar drained to zero and the underling exploded into Grist. Blake collected his reward before giving his guitar a look over. The thing should have probably been broken, but Mom had spared no expense in buying him the highest quality guitar she could find, and then having it reinforced with a titanium alloy. Now it was practically indestructible.

Blake: Level up

The astonishing flare Blake used in his victory sent him up the Echeladder just high enough to reach the next rung: FretStrummer. Blake rejoiced in his new found victory, storing the Boondollars he had been awarded in his Ceramic Porkhollow.

Blake: Check computer

Blake captchalogued his guitar and sat down in front of his laptop again. Apparently, in the heat of his battle, Leslie had finally replied.

MH: yes, Matt is fine

MH: it seems he just misplaced his phone mid-strife

MH: I'm using my power over his world to show him where it is. he should be back online momentarily

SS: thanks

True to Leslie's word, Matt's name lit up after a few seconds.

RR: Ok, I'm back

RR: Oh wow, that sure is some incoherent babble I left you there, isn't it?

SS: yes it is now what exactly happened that made you lose your phone

RR: First, did you by any chance prototype your sprite with Rex?

SS: well yes i did

RR: Then it's technically your fault

SS: hold up how does that fuckin work

SS: your accusin me because you got attacked or some shit

SS: how high do you have to be to DO something like that

RR: Since you used your pet chameleon, the Imps were given the ability to turn invisible

SS: …they couldnt do that before

RR: No. Prototyping is what gives Imps more unique appearance and, apparently, abilities

SS: shit bro im fuckin sorry bout that

SS: i got ambushed by one of those little bastards to and i thought the invisibility was just a natural thing

SS: my motherfuckin bad

RR: It's…it's cool man. You didn't know

RR: No harm no foul I guess, they're still pretty easy to manage in battle and holyfuckingshitwhatthehell?

SS: bro what happened are you ok

RR: Shit, one of those bastards has a gun

RR: Wait, more than one of them has a gun. They all have guns now what the hell is going on?

RR: Did you prototype with anything else?

SS: no but i dont know what les used

RR: Ok, I'm gonna try and not get shot and make my way inside before I verbally assault her

RR: Try and stay safe, bro

SS: dont worry about me man

SS: i scream safety over here

recklessRhythmic [RR] ceased pestering shutterbugSlick [SS]

Boy, Matt seems really steamed. Blake sure hoped Leslie had a good explanation for whatever she prototyped with. He hadn't seen Matt this utterly pissed off since the time he had met AC. Blake's thoughts were interrupted when Pesterchum chimed yet again.

cheeryCherry [CC] began pestering shutterbugSlick [SS]

CC: hey blake

CC: are you ready to start building your house up?

CC: that first gate isn't gonna reach itself :P!

SS: yeah im ready

SS: lets make shit happen

Blake: Be the other guy

Matt was torn between feelings of total horror and world consuming rage. On one hand, the Imps had guns now, and that meant Ogres had guns now too. That thought alone would make most people playing the game wet themselves. On the other hand, he was almost certain one of his friends was responsible for his enemies' new found weaponry, and he was determined to let her know just how at-fault she was.

Matt: Return to room. Discard drumstick t-shirt

Ok, maybe he'd give Leslie her due thrashing after he'd gotten out of his shirt. The thing was pretty decently bloodstained after his last fight, and he probably needed to dress his wounds. Making his way across the ladder and through the upstairs window, Matt rushed into the bathroom nearby.

Taking off and captchaloging his shirt, Matt opened the sink drawers in the hopes of finding bandages. His search was rewarded as he discovered something better: a large roll of gauze. He rolled the large bandages around himself several times, stopping after her decided the slashes were well covered.

Matt stepped back into hallway and was about to put his shirt back on when he heard the loud report of a pistol being fired. A bullet brushed against his hair far to close, and Matt quickly sprinted into his room before his assailant could get another shot fired. After he closed the door behind himself, Matt took the chair from his desk and used it to barricade the door. Heaving a heavy sigh, Matt pulled out his phone.

recklessRhythmic [RR] began pestering minervasHandmaid [MH]

RR: You are in so much trouble, you don't even fucking know

RR: I am so angry that my white hot rage would make the sun look like a heat lamp

RR: Are you listening to me right now? Leslie?

RR: Dammit, stop walking away from your fucking computer!

Matt was seething now. His rage was focused, though. He would rant at Leslie and she would be there to listen to him, and to see how very pissed he was. He decided that he would have to bring her back to her computer, and he knew just how to do it.

_Minutes in the past_

Leslie rubbed her temples in utter frustration. Father was scolding her for her actions, even though she'd saved the both of them from annihilation. Sal had taken off just after their entry into the medium, absconding to his car to escape the "crazy psycho girl with the knife who had the audacity to cut him and then steal his gun" and drove off. Now Leslie had nothing to do but look out the window at the landscape as father continued to scold her.

From what she'd been told about Matt and Blake's respective planets, hers seemed the most unique. For the most part all she could see was forest, but the leaves were colored a bright fuchsia. Through some areas of the forest, Leslie could see clearings and fields that reflected the light of the sun, making it look like the grass was on fire. Hills also dotted the less forested parts of the landscape, some of them marked with cave openings. The whole atmosphere of the planet was bright and inviting. The world's name floated through Leslie's mind as she pretended to listen to Father: The Land of Magic and Mystery.

"Are you listening to me, missy?"

Ugh, Leslie hated when Father called her missy. It made her feel so small. "Yes Father, I'm listening."

"Then do you realize how impulsive and stupid your actions were?" Father was red in the face. It seemed like his words weren't quite covering what he meant to say, and the frustration was just building up.

"I understand, Father, but that 'colleague' of yours had a gun. I'd have preferred not seeing bits of your insides splattered across the carpet." Leslie maintained her composure as best she could; Father couldn't keep this lecture up forever.

Finally, after a few more seconds of silence, Father seemed to calm down. "Now then", he started, looking out at the scenery, "where exactly are we?"

Leslie's response was cut off when her phone vibrated. Luckily, it was in the top card of her Sylladex, so she could easily retrieve it and check the message. It was from Matt, and read "I really need to talk to you. Go to your computer. If it helps, I'm not wearing a shirt ;)". Leslie's jaw went slightly slack and she felt her face heat up when she finished the last sentence. Matt without a shirt? Matt using a winky emoticon? More importantly, Matt without a shirt?

"I'll…uh…explain later. I need to…go help my friend really quick." Leslie absconded right up the stairs without waiting for Father to respond. Shirtless Matt was a thing that was happening, and she wasn't going to miss a second of it.

Once she got to her room, Leslie sat in her chair and stared into her computer screen. Sure enough, there was a shirtless Matt on her screen, but he looked thoroughly displeased. Something must have really ticked him off, and when she noticed the Pesterchum messages he left her, she figured it involved her. Still, she thought she'd try and push her luck.

MH: well someone's looking rather dashing ;)

RR: Don't you even fucking start with the flirting

RR: You see my face right now? Do I look in the mood for flirting?

MH: worth a shot

RR: Moving the fuck on

RR: Do you have any idea why I'm so pissed right now?

MH: color me intrigued, though I'm almost certain it involves me

RR: Ding ding ding! Someone get Leslie a fucking prize!

MH: maybe my prize can wait until after you tell me what I did

RR: Ask your goddamn Sprite

Her Sprite? Leslie hadn't seen her Sprite since she entered the Medium. She hadn't even had a chance to Tier 2 prototype it. All she had used was the…oh, right. Fuck.

MH: oh god

MH: Matt, I'm so sorry

MH: are you ok?

RR: Yes, I'm fucking ok, no thanks to you

RR: Never mind the fact that Blake, lacking knowledge of what prototyping does, accidentally gave our enemies the ability to turn invisible, but you knew full well what prototyping does, and yet you just threw a pistol into the Kernel without any thought as to consequences?

RR: What the fuck Leslie?

RR: I've almost been killed like three times today, and at least one of those times was your fault

RR: Honestly, what was going through your goddamn mind when you pulled that shit move?

MH: I…wasn't thinking

MH: I'm very, truly sorry, but did you think I did that on purpose?

MH: I would never do something that would bring intentional danger to any of my friends, least of all you

MH: I was losing time, and I had to prototype with something

MH: we don't know what happens when you don't prototype, and I didn't want to throw caution to the wind testing it out.

MH: but I'm insulted that you'd think I would carelessly put you in danger like that unless I had no choice

RR: …Shit

RR: Now I feel like a total asshole

MH: …

RR: Ok, ok, I get it

RR: I'm sorry I blew up at you like that. This whole situation is just a little stressful

MH: and?

RR: And I'm sorry I assumed that you weren't thinking. That was just a dick moved on my part

MH: …apology accepted

MH: now let's move on to other business

MH: your house needs to be built up so you can reach your gate

RR: First I'm going to try and put some things together that I can use to alchemize a better getup

RR: Do you mind working on the house while I do that?

MH: not at all. I suppose architecture could serve as an interesting experiment

RR: If you make my house collapse, I'll track you down and kill you

Matt: Start captchaloging

Matt's room was still pretty filthy, but it looked like the Imps hadn't bothered to go through his closet. As he opened the door, several items spilled out and onto the floor. The first thing he captchalogued was a toy sword. Certainly he could use that to make something useful. After that he found a rolled up Doctor Who poster. He captchalogued it and added it to his stack of posters. After that, Matt pushed some of his clothes aside to see what other loot might be hidden in his closet. He was rewarded with the discovery of a snare drum; a birthday present from Sis when he started high school, which was added to his quickly filling sylladex.

Matt: Leave the closet. Captchalogue items elsewhere in the room

First thing Matt noticed that he'd need was his laptop. He grabbed it, filing the last card. How had he not thought of grabbing it before? Stupid stupid dumb. After that Matt tried to grab his typewriter, but stopped when he noticed he didn't have any available captchalogue cards left. He'd have to make room in order to take the typewriter with him.

Matt: Discard gaming magazines

Those things had outlived their usefulness anyway. Matt booted the magazines from his sylladex and watched them spew across the floor of his room before grabbing his beloved typewriter. No way would any Imps interrupt his ability to write stories. His Sylladex now filled, Matt hastily left his room.

Outside, the walls were becoming progressively more coated in oil; a sign that more Imps had been there. Matt walked through the house cautiously, trying to listen for any movement that would give his invisible adversaries away. Once he reached the stairs he caught sight of some Imps by the front door that lacked the distinct reptilian features. They still had pistols, though, so Matt was careful to not to attract their attention.

Once he had neared the bottom of the stairs, Matt threw one of his sticks in the directions of the Imps. The stick missed its intended mark and instead clattered to the floor, but did releases a blast of anti-gravity. Taking advantage of the opportunity, Matt rushed forward and used his one stick to unleash a barrage of single handed blows upon the immobilized Imps. In the heat of the attacks Matt scooped up his other stick, switching to some furious two-handed combos. He finished the assault with a flurry, waving both sticks in the air and bringing them down in single swipes.

Grist bounced off the walls before settling into place on the floor. Matt collected his spoils; 57 units of Build Grist, 49 units of Shale, 43 units of Mercury and 50 units of Tar. Satisfied, Matt turned and opened the front door. The Imps and Ogres had left his front yard, probably in search of a way into the house. Matt took a few steps forward and then turned around to see the progress on his house. Already there were a few extra floors, and Matt could see how much closer to the gate the top of his house was.

RR: Someone's been a busy bee

RR: Say, could you give me a staircase to the same level as my balcony? I need to get to the Alchemiter

MH: sure thing. give me a second

There were a few seconds of delay before a staircase appeared from the roof to the ground. Matt dashed up the stairs and ran across the roof until he reached the balcony.

MH: stairs are surprisingly expensive. I think we should go back to ladders. I like ladders

RR: I almost fell off a ladder earlier, so I think we'll give those some distance for a little bit

Matt: Captchalogued items. Alchemiter. Make it happen

Oh, with much haste. Matt first decided to combine his current outfit with the Starkiller poster. The result was something called the 'Drummer's Training Gear' and consisted of a dark grey shirt with torn sleeves and jet black pants with frayed hems. The gauze Matt had on his chest was now on his arms, starting just after the elbows and stopping before the fingers. Matt's drumstick logo was relocated to the upper right corner of this shirt.

RR: Now _this _the attire fitting a true adventurous ruffian, is it not?

MH: I must agree. you look like quite the dashing, roguish young man out to have some wild and reckless adventures that will no doubt put you in all kinds of trouble

RR: Wouldn't have it any other way

Matt: Continue Alchemizations

Next up, Matt combined the toy sword from his closet with his Samurai Jack poster. The result was a surprisingly cheap 'Sword of the Hero.' This thing would probably be all kinds of useful if Matt had a swordkind strife specibus. Still, he could probably make use of it for alchemization purposes.

After that, Matt combined his snare drum with the Grimoire. The result? One 'Drum of Fluthlu.' He guessed that maybe playing on it would summon some sort of creatures from the Furthest Ring. Matt decided the smart thing to do would be to save this particular creation for emergencies only; there were some powers he wanted to avoid calling upon unless necessary. He was going to move on to the next alchemization when his phone went off. He checked Pesterchum to see who was….wait, no, not that asshole! Matt did _not _want to talk to that guy right now.

Matt: Be that guy right now

Good idea; Let's be on the other end of this conversation. But instead of this particular conversation, let's be on the other end of a conversation like this one. A conversation from when Matt and the other party were younger. A conversation from…

_Years in the past, but not many…_


End file.
